Why the Happiest Family Is Never a Perfect Family13 Oktober 2017
With seemingly perfect family images plastered all over social media, people viewing these images online may begin to think that other families are perfect, while theirs is flawed. But there is no such thing as a perfect family.
People only portray the highlights and goodness of their family on the internet. Most don’t put their family ugliness and dysfunction on facebook for the world to see. But we all have that one friend who chooses to air their dirty laundry on social media on a fairly regular basis. This person is an exception to the rule.
People want others to only see the good things, because that is what they want to remember and highlight for the world to see. They aren’t out to deceive the world that they don’t have family issues, it is just that they don’t feel compelled to show the world the negatives in their lives. They are choosing to be selective in what they show the world.
Everyone needs to view social media with caution and the knowledge that there is no such thing as a perfect family. You may not know a family’s struggles, their flaws, or their personal issues, but they do exist in every family.
Dissatisfaction with one’s own family can develop when you compare yourself to the seemingly perfect images on social media; those images that are truly not showing the whole picture. There should be a disclaimer on social media that states “view with caution, as images can be deceptive with only the most perfect images shown”.
The family unit is a dynamic, ever changing, living organism. There are no perfect people on this planet, so families can never be perfect. However, there can be happiness in a family. There are several keys to making a family unit happy, functional, and loving. There are also some common mistakes to avoid, as these mistakes damage the structure, relationships, and harmony within the family. Below are some of the common mistakes to avoid and the keys for making a family loving and functional.
Little Things That Add up to Big Problems in a Family
Gossip is talking about someone behind their back to another person. It is far too common in families and creates great dissension. If someone has a problem with a family member, they need to go to that family member directly for discussion of the problem. They should also talk to them in private. Bringing up an issue in front of other family members can be even more hurtful and it makes the person bringing up the issue seem insensitive.
Talking about fellow family members behind their back is hurtful, breaks down trust within the family, and is mean. Don’t be a meanie. Stop the gossip one person at a time beginning with yourself. If you have an issue with someone in the family, then approach them in private with compassion and an empathetic ear, wanting to truly help them. If the issue has nothing to do with your life or the function of the family, then perhaps you need to leave it alone.
The Blame Game
Problems exist in every family. The goal is to work through the problems, so you can enjoy life together. If people within a family are continually pointing fingers of blame regarding issues within the family, or even outside of the family, then there will not be peace. It is hard to like someone or get along with them if the person is negative toward you, putting you down, or telling you what is wrong with you.
We all need to avoid the blame game. We all have flaws and idiosyncrasies. If you want others to accept your idiosyncrasies, then you need to accept their idiosyncrasies as well.
Far too many families treat their children different from another. That may on the surface seem like a good statement, as we are all individuals needing individual treatment. When treatment from one child to another is unequal in that favoritism is exhibited, then things need to be changed. Parents should try to start the habit as early as possible, to treat their children equally, in regards to time, effort, gifts, etc. When treatments are not balanced equally, resentments develop between siblings. These resentments often carry into adulthood, as do the behaviors of unequal treatment.
Parents should think about their actions as conveying the message that one child is of more value over another when their treatments are skewed in favor of one child over another. No parent wants their child to feel unworthy or less than their other children, therefore equality in treatment is imperative.
Friends Before Family
In order for family to be defined as the most important support system in a person’s life, then family needs to come before friendships. This can be a hard reality for some, especially teenagers. However, parents need to set the tone for the policy that family comes first. If a teen is missing the nightly family dinners to hang out with their friends, they are missing out on crucial family time that will affect their development. The website “Barking Up The Wrong Tree” discussed how important family dinners are to children and the family unit. The following was stated in their article.
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